One last goodbye to Timmy Speedle
by staceycity
Summary: EC. Just a one shot of what I imagine happening after the end of the episode where Timmy Speedle dies.


It had been one hell of a hard day in Miami as police officers, family, Horatio, Alexx, Ylenia, Frank, Eric and Calleigh stood there, giving Timmy Speedle one last goodbye, as they watched the coffin go down into the ground, while people cried, his parents cried in front of them, as they watched their son, their friend, their colleague...leaving this earth.

It had been a cruel faith...a faith that all those in the force knew they could face. It was part of their job, and they knew that. They get to know that before they apply to get in, and yet they still do it. It is like they agree to sign a death wish...and yet in the middle of all this pain and heartache, in the middle of all the ugliness there is in being part of the force, officers find friends and create new families in the process. That was how the three of them had become...a family. For Calleigh, Eric and Speed, the three of them were family, and not just colleagues, not just part of a team which they happen to meet and work with every single day.

Calleigh stood there, staring straight, hardly blinking, as anger, frustration, sadness consumed her. She had known the result of what her tests were going to be, before she had even started looking at his gun. She knew deep down in her gut, that it was a malfunction. A malfunction that Speed could have avoided if only he had listened to her. It had happened before, and she had talked to him. He could have died weeks ago if it hadn't been for that vest he had on to protect him, and instead another officer had died. Today though, it had been a different story, as they had done a spot check in a jewelry store, following a lead, and someone had opened fire, and his gun had yet again malfunctioned.

She was watching his coffin going down and all she could think about was how she could have prevented this. Maybe she could have made sure to check that he was cleaning his gun herself. It wasn't something that was expected of her of course, it wasn't something that she was supposed to do, but she was just trying to find a way of how she could have prevented his death, and while all this was running through her head, Eric was standing next to her, as his eyes settled on the place that held one of his best friends now. He hadn't even been with him, he hadn't even found out immediately that Speed had been shot...he couldn't even go to the crime scene, because he had to continue with his search of the missing boy, when all he wanted to do was drop everything and rush to his friend's aid.

Calleigh had called him after she had gotten the call from Horatio to go on the scene. Her voice had been so raw, so hard and steady as she tried to keep her emotions in check, and Eric just wanted to drop everything and be with her and Speed and the rest of the team. He could still hear her speak into the phone as she gave him the news. There had been something about the way her voice broke in the beginning as she whispered his name...

 _'Eric...It's Speed...he's been shot' she said._

 _'Is he going to be alright?' he asked her spontaneously even though something told him he wasn't. Maybe his gut was wrong, maybe she would tell him otherwise but then..._

 _'He didn't make it' she said 'I'm going over there now. Please be careful Eric...' she said and then she hung up and Eric had stared at his phone as tears stung the corners of his eyes._

Him, Speed and Calleigh used to hang out almost every night together. It was either a beer at one of the pubs, or out at a club or just hanging at each other's apartments after a horrible day at work just playing poker or whatever they felt like it. Sometimes, they would just get together and have a pizza night and just talk about the case they had to handle that day.

A couple of nights ago they had caught up with him because he had been hard on himself after the young boy who had stolen evidence from the crime scene Speed was working on, had killed himself. He had blamed himself for not noticing the signs of mental disturbance he had, for being too hard on him...and yet here they are now standing at his own funeral.

Now...now that was all going to change. They will no longer hang out like that, and from the way Calleigh was holding up, he knew that things were really going to change. She was closing herself up. She was going to need time on her own, while he was going to need her. The thought that she was the only one left...he just couldn't loose her now. He vowed to Speed, to himself just then, that he was going to do everything in his power to protect her, and no criminal, no case, no emotion was going to stand in his way of doing so. She was going to be his top priority. He simply couldn't loose her as well...he never did and especially not now that he lost Speed.

People were starting to get up ready to leave the place. Some hugged, some just talked and some just stared at where the coffin used to be, and all Eric wanted to do was just tend to Calleigh. He was about to turn around to talk to her, only to realize that she was already on her way to her car.

He was going to call her, but knowing her so well, he knew that she needed some time for herself. If he knew her at all, Eric knew that she was probably blaming herself. He had gotten angry at Speed as well when he found out that he could have prevented this from happening. He had been careless after he had been warned that next time, he might not be so lucky after the first time his gun had misfired, but it seems he hadn't learned his lesson, and damn it now he was paying the price...they were all paying the price.

He was watching her leave without talking to anyone, and all he could do was just stare at her, hands in his pockets, hoping that she would let him be there for her later.

'She's taken it hard' he heard Alexx say.

Eric looked down at her and nodded 'We all did. You know Calleigh...She just needs some time alone' Eric told her.

'What about you?' Alexx asked him 'What do you need?' she asked.

Eric gave her a fake smile 'Her' he replied 'I just need to hold her and feel with my own hands that she is still here. I mean I know it is ridiculous because I can see that but I just...' Eric started telling her 'You know us three...we always hung together and now...she is all that I have left' Eric told her.

Alexx slid her arm around his back and Eric wrapped one arm around her shoulders 'I understand honey. Just give her some time...she'll come around' Alexx assured him.

oooOOOooo

It had gotten late by the time she had made it back home for just a couple of seconds. She had gone back to her lab and shot her gun time after time, taking her frustration out on the damn thing that she loved so much but right now she was angry at the weapon for killing her friend. It hadn't been the same weapon of course, but it was still a gun. She just needed to burn her anger, her energy out to try and calm down.

Tomorrow was another day, and Calleigh was going to have to come back to work and test guns and go out on the field, and she was going to be expected to function, just like any other normal day. No one was going to give a damn that she had just lost a friend, a colleague...no criminal was going to respect that and behave for just one day, no one except the rest of the team. No one except Eric for one.

Eric.

She had been so lost in her own misery that she hadn't even bothered to check on him. She knew that Eric was not like her, that he wasn't the type to build walls around him to shield himself from the pain but that he was going to need her. _Her_ because she was the only one left. Immediately she had put her gun down and put on the safety lock, grabbed her things and made her way out of the lab, texting Eric.

 _'Where are you?'_

It was like she had known that he was on the verge of losing it when he received her call. He was at the bar, drinking his sorrows down as empty bottles of beer stood in front of him.

He grabbed his phone and replied _'On my way home'_ knowing that was his queue to leave and the next thing he knew, Calleigh was knocking on his door, after she had rushed to her house to grab a few things and then made it to his house, knowing that it was going to be a long night...a restless night, a night where her bed was not going to do it for her, a night where she knew that Eric's place was going to be the one to hold her tonight.

He had somehow made it back to his apartment in one piece, without hitting anything in the process, without getting attention of any patrol officers or speeding through red lights, but as he opened the door, she knew. She knew where he had been. She could see in his eyes that he was a bit hammered, and as her bright green eyes settled on his chocolate brown ones, she could see how much he needed her. Without even thinking about it, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in her arms. She felt him wrap his arms around her, settling them on the small of her back as he rested his cheek against hers. They stood there like that for long minutes, just hugging each other in the doorway without saying a word.

That was what they really needed. They just needed to be in each other's arms, assure themselves that they were both fine...alive, and even though Speedle wasn't here anymore, they would always have each other to turn to.

Eric pulled out of the embrace first and forced a smile, cupping her cheek in the process 'Come in' he whispered as he stepped out of the way, closing the door behind her 'So where have you been?' he asked her as they made their way into his kitchen.

'Just went to the lab...you know...take out all of my anger and frustration on my own gun' she told him 'What about you?' she asked, just to confirm what she already knew.

'The usual bar we go to' he admitted.

'Of course...where else. That explains the smell of beer in your mouth' she said. Her tone was even and Eric couldn't tell if she was angry with him or not.

'I'm sorry' Eric apologized. He was about to turn around to do something when she caught his hand 'Hey...I'm sorry I left without saying a word earlier' she told him.

'It's fine Cal. I know you needed some space' Eric told her.

'But you needed me' she replied.

'And you're here' he told her with an appreciative smile 'Coffee?' he asked her then. That was one way of getting rid of the beer smell and get a little bit straight after all that beer that he drank.

'Yes please' she whispered with a soft smile as she slid her hands in her pockets. She stood there in silence, letting him prepare coffee for both of them, as she watched him take mugs out and pour a spoon full of coffee and sugar in each mug and then the boiled water and all the while they just stood in silence, feeling the air getting heavy between them as the elephant settled in the room, until Eric finally turned around and handed her her mug.

'Do you wanna talk about it?' she asked him 'I know it helps you. I know you need to talk about it' she told him.

'You don't need that. I know it doesn't help you' Eric replied as they took a seat on the couch.

'This is not about me, Eric. I took the time I needed, now it's your turn' Calleigh told him.

They sat down on the couch, placing their mugs on the coffee table as they let their backs rest against the back of the couch and Calleigh waited until Eric was ready to start talking.

'I just can't believe it' he whispered 'I can't believe he is really gone' he said.

'Neither can I' she replied softly.

'I mean I know that...are jobs are dangerous, and that is why we have weapons to try and protect ourselves...but to know that one of us was killed...and I wasn't even there to have his back...I couldn't even go on the scene' Eric said as he ran his hand through his head in frustration.

'Is that what's bothering you the most?' she asked him.

'I guess...you know I just had to continue working as if nothing happened, as if no one died, when one of my best friends did and I had to act like nothing major happened. I couldn't go and be there with him' Eric told her.

'I understand...but Eric...I had to go there...and sometimes I wish I didn't' she started telling him 'I keep seeing him on the floor...I keep seeing his lifeless body in a pool of blood...I can't take that image away. I can't stop picturing that, and I don't know what's worse, if it is seeing him on the scene or in the morgue' she told him.

'I keep seeing him in the morgue after Alexx had already done the autopsy...his face was pale and his lips were already blue, and he had stitches on his chest...' and Eric had to stop as he leaned forward and pressed his thumbs against his closed eyes, resting his elbows on his thighs. He could feel her heart hammering hard in his chest and it was as if Calleigh could hear it rattling his cage. He felt her hand rest on his back then, as she slowly started stroking it for him. He just wanted to burst into tears like a baby. He had this lump in his throat he couldn't seem to get rid of, and all Eric wanted to do was pull her in his arms and cry, but somehow he held back.

'I just...I just wish I was there to have his back...' Eric murmured.

'Eric...Horatio was there and there was nothing he could do. Speed had no where to shield himself, and his gun misfired...I know this is harsh...but it is his fault unfortunately' she whispered 'And that is what makes me angry, because I kept telling him to clean his gun, to take care of it, and she would take care of him in return, but he didn't listen to me damn it' she told him.

Eric looked at her and he could see that she was starting to blame herself for the malfunction of his gun 'Calleigh this is not your fault' Eric told her as he turned to look at her 'We are not kids. We don't need mummies to take care of us, we should be able to do that ourselves. You told him a million times, especially after the last time it happened, you told him to clean his gun and he didn't...there was nothing you could have done to prevent this' Eric told her.

'Just like there was nothing you could have done. It was out of our hands' she told him 'Now we just have to learn to live without him' she said.

'Yeah I guess...I don't want to have to learn to live without you though' he whispered then 'I know that somehow I can make it by time without seeing Speed's face...but not yours Cal' he whispered as he took her hand into his and squeezed it for her.

Calleigh smiled sadly 'And I don't want to have to live without you, so don't make me alright?' she told him.

'I won't...I promise' Eric told her. She nodded and then leaned into him as Eric wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head inhaling the scent of her shampoo as she grabbed onto his shirt.

'Will you stay with me tonight?' he asked her.

'There is no place else I'd rather be' she whispered 'I actually figured you might need me to stay so I got some clothes. Let me go and get them' she told him.

Not long after she was making her way back into Eric's apartment 'I forgot my nightwear' she told him.

'I can give you a t-shirt' he offered 'It would suit you as a nightdress' he continued. Under any other circumstances this would be one of those moments where Calleigh would accuse him that he is calling her short, but tonight there was no sign of teasing. Just sadness filled their eyes and all Calleigh could do was thank him.

Eric let her use the bathroom first and then he followed when she was ready as she waited for him in the living room, arms crossed in front of her chest as she stared out of the window, her thoughts drifting from one thing to another, from Speedle to her father getting drunk again, from ending things with Hagen to Eric being the sweetest and most protective guy she's ever known. She knew that after what happened to Speed, Eric was going to get even more protective, and even though she knew he was going to probably get on her nerves at times, she couldn't help but love him for it.

'Hey...' she heard him say as he approached her in his dark blue pants and white tank top.

'Hey' she replied giving him a hint of a smile.

'Tired?' he asked her.

'Exhausted' she replied.

'Yeah me too' he whispered. There was silence again, as Eric hesitated 'What is it?' she asked him.

'Can I just hold you in my arms tonight?' he asked her 'Is it too much to ask?' he asked her softly.

If it was any other night, he wouldn't have even dared to ask, and Calleigh would tell him a definite no, that it was crossing the line but tonight...tonight she needed the comfort of his arms as well.

'No not at all...not tonight it isn't' she replied.

'Do you want to go to bed or do you want to stay here?' he asked her.

'Couch is fine' she repeated. It was big enough that they would sleep comfortable on it.

Calleigh got in first and then Eric followed as he grabbed a pillow and a blanket and got themselves comfortable, as he covered them, snuggling his face into the crook of her neck and Calleigh let her eyes flutter, enjoying the feel of having Eric's arms around her like this, his arm resting on her stomach. She needed him so bad, she couldn't really express how much. She felt safe, like nothing could touch her, and more than that, she could feel his heart beat, she could actually hear it in the silence of the night, and that told her that Eric was safe...that he was alive, and tonight she needed that reassurance.

For Eric it wasn't any difference. Just like he told her earlier, loosing Speed was a huge blow...an unexpected huge blow, a huge loss, but in time he knew he could over come this, that he would get used to this, but without her...without her he just couldn't do. It wasn't like they had know each other for all their lives, but sometimes, you just meet a person and you just click. To Eric that was how it was with Calleigh. He had felt this connection with her, he had felt safe, and he had realized that he could confide in her about anything, and he knew...he knew deep down in his bones, that he just couldn't do it without her...and tonight he needed to hold her. He needed to feel with his own arms that she was alive and safe. He needed to listen to her heart beating, he needed to hear her soft snoring as she slept. He just needed to be with her.

'Good night Cal' he whispered softly.

'Good night Eric' she replied as she kissed the palm which was resting under her cheek, and Eric closed his eyes as a tear streamed down his cheek, but that night no real sleep was done as memories of Timmy Speedle filled their dreams throughout the night.


End file.
